


press one for pizza; interrupt for sex

by shounen



Category: Free!
Genre: Alternate Universe - Canon Divergence, M/M, Makoharu Fanfiction Festival, Masturbation, Mutual Masturbation, Phone Sex
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2015-01-28
Updated: 2015-01-28
Packaged: 2018-03-09 12:01:05
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 4,393
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/3248891
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/shounen/pseuds/shounen
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Haruka really should listen to the full recorded message, or Nagisa needs to get better handwriting. </p><p>(prompt 37: au where haru calls the wrong number for pizza while nagisa and rin are over. he ends up calling a phone sex hotline and makoto is on the other end.)</p>
            </blockquote>





	press one for pizza; interrupt for sex

**Author's Note:**

> i tried. i really tried. i even researched this.

It's not that he hates hanging out with his friends or anything. Nagisa and Rei's company is a pleasant, albeit noisy, change from usual quiet home, with only him and a bathtub. He's grateful he has such great friends, really. But sometimes Nagisa can be a bit pushy and Rei does try to keep him in line, though the question of how effective that is is up for debate (it's really not because Rei gives in and it's two against one--Haruka being the one, of course). So he's here in the living room with Nagisa and Rei and it's way past the time they usually leave. Haruka, at this point, is tired and doesn't have the energy to even try to persuade Nagisa to go home.   
  
"Haru-chan, this is a sleepover. Why would we go home?" he says it as if it were the most obvious thing in the world.  
  
Haruka stays silent because he's never agreed to this sleepover and especially not at his house. All he wants to do his take a nice quiet bath. Alone. Still, a sleepover isn't a bad idea since they usually pool their money together and order a ton of food which is enjoyable.   
  
Nagisa lets out a loud "oh!" He turns to his friends, a wide grin on his face, eyes sparkling with mischief. This never bodes well for anyone except for Nagisa himself. Rei and Haruka exchange a look, bracing themselves for what's about to come.   
  
"Let's invite Rin-chan! He always knows just how to _liven_ up a party!"   
  
Of course Nagisa had to go and ruin a noisy but otherwise pleasant sleepover. The last time Haruka invited Rin over, the redhead trashed his place and invited people dressed in revealing clothes to jump out of giant--and might he add, inedible--cakes. It's a memory Haruka doesn't want to relive. Rei's so shocked he's speechless, almost in a frozen-like state. Haruka can't blame him. Rin and parties should be labeled a human disaster in its own category.   
  
Nagisa doesn't take heed of their reactions, fishes out his phone from his bag, and speed dials Rin's number. It rings three times before he picks up.  
  
"What?" Clearly he's overjoyed to get a call from Nagisa.   
  
"Rin-chan, you don't have to sound so grumpy. Aren't you happy we're talking? Because we are friends, you know."  
  
Rin's groan is audible even from where the other two are sitting. "Nagisa, what do you want? I don't have time for your games; it's fucking ten. I have shit to do tomorrow."  
  
Knowing Rin's rather short temper and impatience, Nagisa quickly says, "We're having a sleepover at Haru-chan's! And you know a sleepover isn't complete without you! Can you please, please, pleaseeeeee come over?"   
  
Rin sighs. "Are you gonna keep calling me if I don't?"  
  
"You know me so well, Rin-chan."  
  
Another sigh. A few more words are exchanged before Nagisa flips his phone close and turns to his friends. "He'll be here soon!"   
  
Leave it to Nagisa to bring everyone in one place to "party" with ease. While they wait for Rin, Rei takes a board game out of his bag. It's like monopoly but with dogs, Rei had explained. Haruka doesn't see the appeal behind it but Nagisa's  eyes are all over it, claiming the dogs he likes best.   
  
"Nagisa-kun, that's not how you play!" Rei shouts, a stickler for the rule even if it were just a board game with dogs.  
  
It's a struggle to get through even one round of the game with Nagisa's constant rule breaking going against Rei's more strict following of it and Haruka dozing off every now and then and missing a turn and having to redo it. They're about to start the third round when Haruka's living room door rudely slides open and an angry Rin is standing there, shivering, cheeks red. He doesn't look too happy to be there but Nagisa ignores the signs and jumps off, flipping the game board over with not a care in the world (though he does send Haruka an apologetic look afterwards).   
  
"Rin-chan! You're finally here!"   
  
Rin grumbles some profanities as he takes off his scarf and carelessly discards it on the floor. He plops down next to Rei and takes a moment to look around.   
  
"What the fuck? Where's all the food?"  
  
"We have mackerel and rice in the kitchen," Haruka says like it's the most obvious thing in the world.  
  
Rin groans. "Seriously, Haru, you don't know how to host a party for your life."  
  
"It's actually a sleepover," Rei says, pushing his glasses up while giving Rin a smug smirk.  
  
Rin glares at Rei but continues on with his party lecture. "This party's so lame. Haru, go order some pizza while we set your place up for a fun time." He turns to Nagisa. "You know where he keeps his video games, right?"   
  
Nagisa nods. He thrusts Haruka's phone into said boy's hands with a phone number scribbled badly on a piece of paper before running off to retrieve the games. How'd he managed to get his phone, Haruka doesn't know; it's Nagisa and he's sneaky. That should be a reasonable enough answer.   
  
Haruka doesn't like making phone calls. They make his palms sweaty and his heart beat at such a rapid pace he thinks he might pass out. Talking to people face to face is hard enough. Somehow phone calls manage to amplify that fear. He heads to his room to make the call because it's comfortable there and maybe the familiarity of his own room can help comfort him through this.   
  
He smooths the crumpled piece of paper out and squints at it. The numbers are hard to make out. He's got most of it down but the last number can either be six or an eight. He decides to go with six. A woman's voice comes on after three rings; it sounds like a recorded message.  
  
"Press one fo--" Haruka doesn't wait for her to finish (press one for pizza delivery is what he assumes) and presses one on his phone. Is this a new thing pizza places are doing? He thinks it's unnecessary but hell, what does he know about the pizza industry, anyway? He waits a few more seconds, taking deep breaths in the meantime to calm himself down. He hears a click.  
  
"Hello. Are you ready to get hot and heavy?" a voice asks him.  
  
Well, that's sure is a weird way to talk about pizza deliveries, he thinks. What kind of pizza place number did Nagisa give him? He shakes his head. Dragging this conversation out isn't in his best interests.   
  
"Umm, sure, I guess. Can I get one cheese, one Hawaiian, and do you guys have mackerel?"  
  
He thinks he hears the voice on the other line choke on something. "Cheese? Hawaiian? And mackerel?! Th-that's a bit odd...but hey, why not." A pause. "Anything for you, baby."   
  
"Uhh, okay, thanks? How long will it take for you to get here?"   
  
Another pause. "Get there? To where you are? Oh, baby..." Haruka thinks the person is choking again or something because he can hear faint coughs in the background. "I'll be there if you can make me...come..." More coughing.  
  
"Make you come?" Haruka has never been more confused in his life. "How can I make you come?"  
  
He hears the other person take a deep breath, exhaling slowly. "You can...touch yourself and moan like you're--you're being fucked by me."   
  
Everything stops around Haruka. Fucked? Come? Baby? He resists the urge to slap himself for being so oblivious. "So..." he starts, "this isn't a pizza place?"  
  
"Wh-what? Umm...no, it's not. U-unless you want it to be! If you're into roleplaying employee and customer relationships I can do that!"   
  
Haruka almost laughs. This person sounds so earnest and maybe even a little bit desperate. He's had enough fun for one night as it is. "Sorry, I was trying to reach a pizza place. Guess I got the wrong number. Bye." He hangs up and drops onto his bed. That was exhausting. And he still hasn't ordered any pizza. Great, another phone call to make.  
  
He dials the same number, this time with the eight rather than the six. Thankfully, it's the right number this time. He asks for a cheese, Hawaiian, and mackerel (which they have, he makes a note of it). Haruka forces himself up and out of his room and into the living room where bags of chips were opened and cluttered on the table and Nagisa and Rin setting up his game console. Rei observes from nearby, pointing out little mistakes Rin makes just to irritate him because he's bored and it's always fun teasing Rin.   
  
"Pizza's coming in an hour. Tell me when it comes. I'll be in my room for a bit."  
  
The other three mumble out some "yeah," "sure," "uh huh" still too preoccupied with the game console.  Haruka goes back to his room and lies down on his bed again. He rolls around a couple of times before he's comfortable enough to stay still. Closing his eyes, the voice from that phone sex operator buzzes through his head. He didn't pay much attention to it before due to his nervousness, but thinking back on it, that person does have a nice voice. It was alluring, endearing, even. He imagines the voice belongs to someone tall and probably muscular. From the way he tried so hard to please Haruka, he thinks that person's probably a loser or just a big dork.  
  
He doesn't know why he's thinking about a phone sex operator's voice. Sure, they talked but not enough to warrant it consuming his mind like this. _"I'll be there if you can make me...come..."_  That line whispers itself into his ear in that person's voice and Haruka shivers. His hand reaches for his phone and before he knows it, he's dialed most of the number. All there's left for him to do is press six. It's a bad idea, he knows, but he just needs to hear that voice again.   
  
He presses six and holds his breath.   
  
The woman's recorded message comes on and he presses one before she can finish her sentence again. He waits a few seconds (they feel so much longer). A click.  
  
"Hello. Are you ready to get hot and heavy?" It's the same voice and Haruka breathes a sigh of relief.  
  
"H-hi. It's me. I mean, that guy who called earlier." He doesn't know why he's being so vague but he can already feel his ears heat up. "You know, the one who called thinking this was a p-pizza place." He forces out a laugh, choked and nervous.  
  
He hears a gulp on the other line. "Y-yeah. Umm, it's kinda weird, you know, since when you call back you usually don't get the same person." He chuckles. "Maybe it's destiny." It's a joke, but Haruka's heart leaps because maybe it really _is_ destiny.   
  
"I like your voice," he blurts out, nervous and jittery and tense. A mix of feeling comforted by his voice and feeling like an idiot for calling a phone sex hotline just to hear his voice.   
  
Haruka hears muffled laughter and his ears feel hot; that heat spreads to his cheeks and he's pretty sure he's on his way to dying of embarrassment.  
  
"I like your voice too." A pause. "I--I usually don't give people my real name when I'm working, but...you just might be my exception."  
  
Haruka's heart beats once, practically trying to beat its way out of his chest. Fuck, fuck, fuck. He's getting in too deep.   
  
"I'm Makoto. What's your name--if you don't mind telling me, that is."  
  
He doesn't care anymore. He'll dig himself deeper in this whole because this person--Makoto--has made him his exception.   
  
"Haruka. You can call me Haru." He decides to add, "My friends all call me that."  
Makoto chuckles. "It's nice to meet you then, Haru. What kind of service would you like to request today?"  
  
He says it in good humor but Haruka doesn't know what he wants from Makoto. All he knows is this boy has a nice voice and he just wants to talk to him. Well, maybe not so much talk as hear him talk. Something about his voice brings Haruka to a blushing, nervous mess.   
  
"I don't know. I...I like your voice. Can you talk more?"   
  
There's no reply at first. Haruka thinks he said something wrong (this _is_ a phone sex hotline, just talking has no place here). Instead of rejection like he expects, Makoto laughs and it's pretty damn loud, contagious even; Haruka finds himself losing it in a fit of laughter.  
  
Once Makoto calms down, he inhales deeply before saying, "I'm sorry, it's just--it's just no one has ever requested just to talk. It's...I guess it's just kinda of new to me in this business. But thank you, Haru, I'd love to talk to you."   
  
Haruka's line goes quiet. He hadn't planned this far ahead and now he's stuck thinking of what to say next. He blurts out whatever was on his mind next. "Why're you working a phone sex hotline?"   
  
He wants to slap himself for asking something so personal to someone he doesn't even know.  
  
"Sorry, I didn't mean to ask that. I-I...It just came out. Sorry."  
  
Makoto chuckles. "No, no, it's alright. I don't mind." He stops talking and Haruka thinks he does actually mind. "No one's really asked about me or my life. I'm usually asking them about their lives and then play into their fantasies. It's...this is nice. Thanks for asking, Haru."  
  
Haruka can feel the tips of his ears burning again and his heart beating a bit quicker.   
  
"This is just a part time job. The pay isn't that great and you have to meet a quota, but hey, what can you do in this economy."   
  
"I guess you're able to meet your quota since you're still working. Must be your voice," Haruka says.  
  
"Ha...I guess you're right. Maybe this is my calling," Makoto jokes. "Pun intended, by the way."  
  
Haruka rolls his eyes. He's right. Makoto is a big dork. Scoffing, he says, "Yeah, I'd figure it was. You're kind of a dork."  
  
Feigning offense, Makoto gasps. "Oh, you wound me. But at least I'm not the one who called back a phone sex hotline because I thought someone's voice was nice."  
  
Haruka's red in the face and it's burning. "H-hey! Shut up!"   
  
Makoto's laugh comes naturally and he manages an "I'm kidding" in between the pauses in his laughter. Haruka feels himself chuckling along with him; laughter must be contagious, like yawning, he thinks. Their laughter quiets down and they fall into a comfortable conversation. Haruka tells Makoto about his friends (he has two close friends and one who considers him a rival but who's actually more of a bother to his peaceful life), his family (his parents are always away due to work related reasons and he used to live with his grandma until she passed), his university (it's in his hometown and it's small; he's thinking about transferring to one in Tokyo soon).  
  
"Tokyo? Oh, I go to school there! If you do transfer, maybe we can meet up!" Makoto says excitedly. "I mean, if you want to."   
  
"Yeah...yeah, that'd be nice." He wasn't seriously considering transferring before (too much of a hassle) but now that Haruka knows Makoto is in Tokyo and there's a high chance they'll meet, he thinks he should start filling out a transfer application soon.   
  
"So, what about you? Your family?" Haruka asks.  
  
Makoto goes on to tell him about his parents and his siblings (they're twins and they're a handful but he loves them; being an older brother isn't bad), he's lived in Tokyo all his life (though he doesn't mind going out a bit far to wherever Haruka is and pay him a visit), he has good friends from school and hangs out with them occasionally (his closest friend has pink hair and plays basketball and clings onto him like a koala).   
  
Haruka definitely _isn't_ jealous of this pink haired boy. At all.   
  
Makoto doesn't notice Haruka's noncommittal grunts when he brought up his pink haired friend. He tells Haruka he's studying to become a swim coach (he used to swim all the time in high school but competitive swimming just isn't for him).  
  
"Wait. You swim? I-I do too!" He's embarrassed he got so excited. It's just he might have something more in common with Makoto and that thought makes his stomach flutter.  
  
"Mmm, yeah. It was fun. I used to do relays with some friends. Ah, I love swimming and I just wanna continue swimming but you know, not competitively. It's just not me. But teaching, I did that for a bit--taught some kids to swim--and it just clicked."  
  
A kindred spirit, Haruka thinks. He's found his kindred spirit. Someone who understands how he feels about swimming. It's fun and he likes it but it's not something he wants to do professionally. Makoto gets it and Haruka knows for sure this is destiny or fate or whatever that other cheesy crap Nagisa's always spewing about.   
  
"Yeah. I get it. Feeling the water, being surrounded by it, swimming...it's all fun. Doing for competition, professionally doesn't sound like my kind of swimming...A lot of people were disappointed when I chose to study culinary instead. I-I chose something I want to study and it disappointed a lot of people I care about." He's never told anyone this before. But Makoto would get it; he wouldn't judge him for choosing this path.  
  
"It hurt a lot. I'm not sure if they accepted it or if they're just waiting for me to change my mind."  
  
He takes a deep breath to steady himself or else he might really cry.  
  
Makoto's voice comes out soft, gentle, warm, like Haruka expects it to. "Haru. Thank you for trusting me with this." He blows air out his mouth. "I can't tell you if what you did is the right choice or not, but if it makes you happy then I think it's alright. You live for yourself, not for other people's expectations of you. So...don't worry about it too much. I'm here if you need to talk."  
  
Haruka thinks he might actually cry. Words he wanted to hear for so long comes from someone he hasn't ever met.   
  
"Makoto..." he whispers Makoto's name like a prayer he says at night. "Thank you."   
  
"Mmm."  
  
Neither talk but the silence is comfortable. Haruka hasn't experienced this kind of silence since his grandma passes away. He thanks Nagisa and the universe and whatever else for bringing Makoto into his life. He lets his mind wander to meeting Makoto, to feeling his hands touch his arms, his body, to kissing Makoto, to laying in bed with Makoto, to all the possibilities in Tokyo with Makoto. Haruka wants Makoto. He wants him so much his heart hurts and his stomach is in knots and his eyes water.  
  
"Makoto," he says. "Can I ask you for something?"  
  
"Hmm? Sure, ask for anything."  
  
"This is a phone sex hotline, right?"  
  
Clearly confused, Makoto says, "Uhh, yeah it is. But I thought we already established that the first time you called." He chuckles softly.  
  
"W-well, since this is a phone sex hotline and you're working it and I'm a caller, I was thinking maybewecanhavephonesexsinceyouknowitonlymakessense," he mumbles out the last part, almost incoherent in its delivery.  
  
A stunned silence. Makoto takes a few moments before he finally replies. "You...you want to have phone sex? With me?"  
  
Haruka mumbles an embarrassed yes and hopes he doesn't scare off Makoto with the change of pace and atmosphere of the conversation. "Is that not okay?"  
  
"No!" Makoto's reply comes quick and panicked. "It's-it's okay. Perfectly okay, actually."  
  
"Okay," Haruka breathes out.  
  
"What kind of scenario do you wanna act out? Usually people tell me and we'd act it out."  
  
Acting. Haruka had almost forgot this is Makoto's job and he's playing a part; it's all a service for the customers and not because he's special. But if this is the best he can get, he's not going to spend it sulking.   
  
"Lovers."  
  
"Lovers?" Makoto repeats the word, not completely understanding.  
  
"Yeah. Pretend we're lovers." Haruka doesn't know whether adding the next part will make it obvious, but hell, what does he have to lose anyway? "We're lovers and we're long distance. So, it's been a while and we decide to have phone sex."   
  
"Ah, I see. Then," Makoto says, "shall we start?"  
  
"Y-yeah." Haruka's voice comes out half breathy, half murmur. He doesn't know what to expect.  
  
"I miss you," Makoto says, shortly after. "It's been a while and...I...I want to touch you."  
  
Haruka's face heats up and his pants tighten. Makoto continues with his roleplaying, whispering sweet nothings in Haruka's ear, desperate and wanting coloring his tone. He's so good at it, Haruka almost believes they're really long distance lovers.   
  
"I...miss your touch. I want you to touch me again," Makoto says, voice low and husky.  
  
"I wanna touch you too. Touch me, Makoto. Please," Haruka whines through the phone.   
  
He still hasn't touched himself. With each passing minute, it becomes more and more agonizing.  Haruka's free hand slides down to his dick and he rubs himself through his pants.   
  
"Makoto, please. I'm so hard right now."  
  
"Me too, Haru. I'm hard too."   
  
Encouraged by Makoto's grunts and pants, Haruka rubs faster. It becomes too much to bear and he unzips his pants and pulls his dick out. Thankfully, his room's warm so the air doesn't sting against it.   
  
"Makoto..." he moans. "I want you here. I want you touching me. I want you to suck me off."  
  
He hears Makoto groan loudly, as if he were trying to hold it in until Haruka said the magic words. "Yeah, I wanna suck you off too. Pretend I'm stroking you right now."  
  
Haruka does as he's told. He imagines its Makoto hands, warm and big, that's engulfing every inch of his dick, that he's the one stroking faster and faster. It's almost too much for Haruka. Unable to resist, he thrusts up into his own hand.   
  
"M-Makoto! I'm thrusting! I'm thrusting into your hand!"  
  
"Yeah, yeah, keep thrusting. I'm gonna make you come so hard. Keep thrusting. Keep thrusting until you come."  
  
Haruka moves faster, more erratically. Makoto's words push him over the edge. It's all too much. He can feel everything at once. Every part of him's screaming for release.   
  
"M-Makoto...I'm...close!"  
  
Makoto grunts. "Yeah, me too. Let's come together, Haru. Come for me!"  
  
Haruka can't think anymore. His body is on autopilot, moving to the rhythm of his and Makoto's panting. His climax comes right after Makoto's. It comes quickly; he rides it out, wanting the pleasure to last for as long as it possibly can.  
  
Once it's done with, his breathing calms and slows to a steady beat. Makoto's the first to break the silence.  
  
"Wow."  
  
Haruka laughs. "Yeah, wow. You do this often?"  
  
This time it's Makoto who laughs. "Not often enough."  
  
"So--"  
  
Before Haruka can get the sentence out of his mouth, he hears Nagisa's voice coming from the living room.   
  
"HARU-CHAN, THE PIZZA'S HERE! COME DOWN! WE'RE HUNGRY!"  
  
"You better move your ass down here or else I'm eating without you." Rin's clearly cranky.  
  
"Patience is a virtue. It's only right we wait for Haru-senpai."  
  
"Shut up."  
  
Haruka wants to bury his face in his pillow. Bad timing and not to mention embarrassing. He hopes Makoto hasn't heard any of that.   
  
"Ah, looks like you have to go."  
  
Does it still count as cockblocking after you come, Haruka wonders, because that's exactly what his friends did. Just when he was going to ask Makoto for his number too.   
  
"I-yeah, I gotta go. Sorry."  
  
"Don't worry about it. People always have to leave afterwards." He laughs, no malice or resentment in it. "Well, I guess this is goodbye, Haru."  
  
Haruka's eyes widen. He refuses to let this end here. "Wait! I mean, don't hang up yet. I...I wanna do this again. Wait, no, not this exactly. N-not that this was bad or anything. It was great, actually. I mean--" He's rambling; he knows it and maybe death by embarrassment is a real thing.  
  
Makoto can't keep his laughter in. Once it breaks, Haruka joins in. It's just so contagious. "I-I'm sorry, Haru. I get it, don't worry." There are still traces of chuckling as he tries to stop himself from laughing again.  
  
"It's alright. I like your laugh. I...I like your voice a lot too. And--And I like a lot about you. I was trying to ask for your number. If you want to give me it, that is. You don't have to. I'm rambling again, I know. Sorry." Real smooth there, Haru, he thinks deprecatingly.   
  
"Yeah. Yeah, thanks, Haru. That's really sweet of you. I...I'd like that too. Keeping in touch."   
  
Makoto gives Haruka his number, which he scribbles down as neatly and as quickly as he can. He blurts out his number to Makoto who thanks him and Haruka's pretty sure he's smiling at what a mess he is.   
  
"GOD DAMN IT, HARU. IF YOU DON'T GET YOUR ASS DOWN HERE I SWEAR I WILL TRASH YOUR PLACE."   
  
"Umm, I have to go. I'll, umm, call you later. Are you free later?"  
  
"Yeah, around nine! Oh, hey, before you go...you know I'm in Tokyo, right?"  
  
"Yeah."  
  
"If you're planning on coming here, I--I'm free. I mean, we can hang out. And if you need a place to stay, I can help you out."  
  
Haruka's ears are hot because he's pretty sure Makoto's asking him out and proposing they live together. Hell, they already had phone sex, might as well live together.  
  
"I'd like that. Umm, talk to you later then, Makoto."  
  
"See you, Haru."  
  
He hears a loud click and the phone is dead.   
  
"HARU, I SWEAR!"  
  
Rolling his eyes, Haruka gets onto his feet. "Yeah, yeah. I'm coming."  
  
 _See you soon, Makoto._   
  
  
  


 


End file.
